Tell Me Your Story

Have you ever been asked to share your story?

Yes? Consider yourself one of the lucky few.

But if we’re being completely honest, most of us haven’t.

Why is this? Why are we so afraid to enter into the stories of others? Especially the stories that are vastly different from our own.

As the recipient, not being asked to share our story can often leave us feeling unseen or that we don’t belong. And since this is a basic human desire we are left desperate to even get a remanent of this feeling somewhere… anywhere. One of the unhealthy places this can lead to is to seek out people who are like-minded in every way, and never disagree with anything we say, think, or do.

Now I’m not saying it’s bad to be around those that we share common things with. This can actually be quite good. However, if we only surround ourselves with those that think just like us, we truly will never grow or be challenged in the deeper places of our souls.

Another detrimental side effect is then we don’t know how to be with those that are different from us. Sharing our stories can be extremely scary for both the listener and the sharer because it’s unpredictable. As the listener we don’t know what is going to be shared, and for the one sharing we don’t know how our story will be received. It makes both parties feel vulnerable.

So why not minimize the risk and only share where you know you’ll be affirmed in all things?

So why not minimize the risk and only listen to those whose story is more predictable?

These seem like the logical solutions, right? Wrong! These fearful mindsets keep us siloed in our own little worlds with our own little groups, never challenged and not growing. And like I stated earlier, we then never learn how to be with others that are different from us.

Heartbreaking!

So what if we, as the church, or as HUMANS, learned how to listen to others? I mean REALLY listen! Not a “let me just get the basics so I can give you a quick platitude to make myself feel better in my uncomfortable state of listening to your story” kind of listening — But rather the kind where we’re actually sitting with people in their pain, or trauma, or even their struggles.

Pain, trauma, and struggles that you may have NEVER experienced; a place that you don’t understand anything, or have ANY answers to give.

And what if that’s OK? What if it’s enough to simply BE with someone in the midst of their story? What if it’s not about you at all?!

What if you challenged yourself to listen to another’s story that is so unlike your own and learned how to sit in your own discomfort for the sake of the other person?

I believe this is one of the most simplistic ways we can love people; I mean truly love them.

No judgements.

No answers. For God’s sake no empty Christian platitudes.

Just presence.

When we feel seen we are different.

And what if by helping someone to feel seen, they then experience El Roi— “The God who sees me”— through us? That just by asking someone to share their story, and you truly listening, you help usher them into the healing presence of God?

No fear. No pressure. Just healing Presence.

This is where change can begin.